Good Day's...Bad Day!!

Yesterday was a bad day all round really. I felt really down in myself because ? has been very anxious since going to pain management at Queens Hospital on Thursday and ? was told he has been having Angina Attacks and on the verge of a Heart Attack. Aggression is coming out on him, but the aggression is aimed towards me which I took for a long while before I retaliated back towards ? because I couldn't take no more of this any longer.  It got nasty as I stood up to the aggressive way ? was towards me which made him worse I think and at one point I really thought he was going to hit me but he didn't but, was very threatening towards me. He was very intimidating with his face in my face, patronising and was telling me what to do, going to do verbally bullying me in an aggressive way.  Once all this had died down I wouldn't talk to him and never answered him at all when he spoke to me either, I completely ignored him. I wouldn't mind but, I've made 3 important phone calls for ? today and each time he had tried to put me down patronising me and belittling me.  He has made me feel so bad in myself when there was no apparent reason for him to do this to me. After ? left I over indulged and ate 3 shredded wheat with lashings of milk and sugar which I regretted later! As I said, ? left, then came back later in the evening. He had calmed down and spoke to me nicely as if nothing had happened but, I was quite most of the time. I didn't reply to his picking when I was watching Emmerdale, Coronation Street and Eastenders. ? always throws out insults or says horrible things about a programme I watch on TV which annoys me a lot. I have watched a bit of the programs he watches and I don't say horrible things about them, I just go and watch my own TV in my room... For me however, the outburst had left me in a dreadful state, in an awful mood which it took me all day and evening to calm this awful feeling down within me. The outburst has left me breathless which I have been trying to control before it took hold of me.  Today, I feel more calmer but, still feel breathless and keep coughing as it feels a bit tight breathing because I can't seem to shift the breathlessness. I hate these outbursts, it always brings the worst out in me and I say such awful things I have an acid tongue and it sort of runs out of control And, its not good for ? when this happens especially with his health in his condition.  I do try not to retaliate but, as I said before,  I can only take so much and if I don't retaliate ? or anyone else will  think I'm a push over...and that's not going to happen, no matter what. After all I've got my own illnesses to cope with too. Oh well, good days bad days aye? And, this was a bad day!!