Friday 6 March 2015

Banter...


I was up at 5.30 am again this morning. ? had rang to say he was coming round. He has had a bad night again of coughing and choking. When ? arrived he was all agitated and was angry with himself

When ? got home yesterday, he had a couple of letters waiting for him. 
One from his GP that said he wanted to see ? because his tests had come back wrong. 
The other letter was for ? to have an operation on his brain where the mass is on the left side, the operation is booked for 15th March. 
These two letters has upset him and made him worry more. 
? talked and I kept quite and just listened. ? has got so much aggression in him. He must have talked non-stop for about an hour and a half this morning. I just let him talk. 
I can feel today is going to be a bad day for ? and for me to cope with. 
This last week has been ok without any upset. ? has been having real bad nights of pain and bad feelings going though him day and night and I can feel that his aggression is about to come out of him. He is in a lot of pain, I can only imagine how ? is feeling but, saying that I can't really say how or what pains he actually endures, all I know is its really bad.
Last night I rang ? when he was at home and he didn't answer his phone. I phoned several times, all sorts of things was running though my mind. I thought he had had an accident on the way home or he had collapsed or something. He eventually answered his phone and said his phone was under the cushion on the sofa. I was worried in-case he had collapsed and couldn't get to the phone or something and had no-one to help him. He was ok that was the main thing. 

? is so badly ill, I just don't know what I can do but listen and take the brunt of aggression that comes with ? illnesses. I know ? can't help his aggression, it's the Bipolar that has also taken hold of him which makes things even worse to deal with.
It is hard to cope with at times and ? health has deteriorated by more than half since last year. His Heart and Lungs are in a bad way.

I will have to try harder to see through the bad and look for the good. 
? has got so much good which is getting lost within him. He does laugh and make jokes and a bit of banter towards me and I to him. We sort of take the rise out of each others illnesses sometimes, wicked humor, but we know we are both joking about and trying to be better than each other. I think that's how we get by with wicked humor. We say such wicked things to each other at times and we laugh. This is how we both deal with things I think. It was like last night when ? eventually answered his phone, I said, Oh your still alive then and he said, I bet you was hoping I wasn't so you could have all my money aye? I said, yeah! and tutted...lol
That's how we go on...haha!
                                                           

No comments:

Chest Infection Never Ending!

Why am I prone to chest infections, that's what I want to know!? It's mean! This poxy illness just won't leave me al...