Over the years there has been heartache and laughter, I suppose like in a lot of families, but at the time of woe we always think we're the only ones don't we? I would say it all comes down to hubbies compulsive gambling and up bringing.
In the early days I was madly in love with hubby, I really did love him. He has always had a strong character, much stronger than myself and I looked up to him even though he is a few years younger than me you would think he is older than me and always loved the way he conducts himself.
Hubby was a lovely person and still is, but at times he can be so controlling and suffocating, even worse these days. But saying all that, there's still something there that I love about him even with all his patronizing, intimidating, manipulative ways which he has got really bad. At times I was the under body, the door mat and I felt like I had lost my own identity, and still feel like it.
I put his ways down to how hubby had been brought up, well, dragged up I should say.
His family lived like Oliver Twist days and the kids had to go out and forage for money or thieve to survive to keep the whole family. Hubbies problems go right back to them days.
He didn't have any schooling because his dad Alb, I called him Fagan because that's who he was like. What people saw of Alb on the surface was a very nice man, but he was horrible to his family. He used to beat and starve the kids and hubbies mum too, she got the brunt of it all. Anyway, hubbies dad didn't send him to school or the other kids either and he pawned all their school uniforms or sold stuff that the were sent out to steal, and hubby had to go out and get food and money so they could all survive.
I think the good in hubby is what his 3 uncle's put in him. They're the ones who had better lives, not perfect, but better and they were good to their families and they helped hubby.
Hubby went to live with his uncle George from time to time
It is quite sad really because even without being able to read and write he has got through life, he has got such a good character and can do many things, things that I can't even do, he's a survivor.
I can read and write, but he is much better and clever than me. Hubby had to grow up at an early age. With the proper education I'm sure he could have gone to college or even university too and I'm sure he would have had a completely different life.
Its funny because hubbies brother Harry came round yesterday and we all had a lengthy chat and a good laugh and all this mentioned above was being disgust and how they were treated when they were kids and how they have come through it all and how they are today.
Two of the younger sibling's had no clothing to wear and was beaten badly and they never went outside the door or to school. There were 10 kids, one died at birth. It is all so sad. All the brother's and sisters have always said the baby that died had a narrow escape, that goes to show how bad things were for them all.
Alb, their dad used to buy fish and chips. He would have the fish and chips and hand his wife and kids a few chips on a piece of paper and that was their dinner. Alb would have cups of tea and everyone else water.
Alb had greyhounds, one at any one time and he raced them at Rye House and he gambled and smoked. He bought steak for the greyhound and little else for his family. He used to give the cigarette ends to his wife so she could break them down to make cigarette's for herself or a couple of the kids who smoked.
This is no far fetched story, this was real life in the 1960's for hubbies family. I could go on and on with different things, terrible things that had happened, but I will leave it here, the picture has been painted...
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