Monday, 28 August 2017

Vile Abusive Behaviour

My name is: Sandra C Yates
Ex-Husband is: Albert W Yates...known as Bert. 

19/08/2017 Saturday...
Well, we did get to go on our holiday at Vauxhall Holiday Park at Gt.Yarmouth in Norfolk. But, on the way there Bert kept saying if it was now he would never had booked the holiday and we wouldn't be going. It wasn't him who booked the holiday, it was me. Anyway Bert was unpleasant most of the time on the way there and when we first arrived at reception Bert ( I usually call him hubby or used the ? mark to refer to him on Blogger or Facebook, but I will use his name as I call him from now) anyway, Bert had a row at the reception desk about the 
caravan being dirty or not up to his expectations and asked for the money back, but the two girls Zoe and Jade our G/daughters said they wanted to stay, so we stayed.
In the evening we all went to the club house to watch the show and had a few drinks. The evening was good and all went off ok.
20/08/2017 Sunday...
The first day Bert was moody and picky as usual, but not excessive to really upset, myself and Steven are used to his moody ways, but the two girls are not used to Bert's mood swings. 
We all went to ASDA's to get some shopping in. All was ok. Later we all went to the sea front, the two girls went to the Pleasure Beach  while Bert, Steven and myself went to the market place opposite Britanica Pier. 
Bert, Steven and myself wandered slowly along looking in shops ect...I said I wanted something to eat as I was hungry and needed something to eat quickly as I am diabetic and hadn't eaten since 7am that morning and it was roughly 1:pm...ish!  Bert kept on about me being a fat slob and being abusive and talking loud so other people could hear him about other people passing by being fat and in wheelchairs or walking sticks and do I want to be like them...ect...ect! I felt awful. (this is the sort of thing he does on a daily basis when out or in-doors) 
Bert had two breakfast that morning like he does every morning. Steven our G/son said he was hungry too and Bert said lets find somewhere to eat. Bert didn't try and put Steven down or belittle him like he did me, not that I'm saying anything about Steven, hes a good person. We met up with the two girls Zoe and Jade a bit later by the pier, then we made our way back to the caravan.  
The second day was ok, just as I expected it to be really (as above). In the evening we went to the club house to watch the show and we had a few drinks. All was still ok as well as could be expected and the evening went well. 
I had already arranged our sleeping arrangement like this: Bert have the double bed to himself as he is badly ill and I sleep in the lounge. The arrangements had always been the other way round before, Bert in the lounge and me in the bed. The sofa in the lounge I did find very comfortable. I haven't had anything to do with Bert intermately since he left me roughly 15 years back, I think!?? Not sure of dates, it could be longer or less.
21/08/2017 Monday...
The girls went swimming and then back to their rooms. I cooked some dinner and had to rest after for a bit as I felt tired/fatigued. 
That evening we went to the club house again. Bert was drunk very moody and picky especially about the two girls and said I'm supposed to be looking after them ect...I said they're ok, they were sitting outside on their own smoking and talking to each other. I wasn't taking any notice of his manner at the time, I just let it go through me, I didn't want to argue. I kept quite and rested my eyes a bit while listening to the singing. Then Bert said, whats the matter with you. I said, I'm resting my eyes and listening to the singing (I've got Glaucoma and cataracts and needed to rest my eyes for a bit) Then Bert said, we're going home and I said, what? Bert said, we're fucking going back home and more nasty verbal and calling the two girls fucking slags and sluts and whores, their just looking for older men. I said no they're not they're sitting outside talking to each other. I said, what's the matter with you??
I got up and started to walk away, he tried to grab my arm and he shouted where you fucking going so everyone could hear and I just carried on walking outside the room. I do try to walk away from unpleasant situations. I carried on walking and he kept shouting for me to stop, but I didn't.
Bert followed me, when he caught up with me he grabbed my right arm and put his face in mine menacingly and said, I've given you everything, he called me a fat c u n t...and bringing up past argument events and saying I'm always the same. I said I didn't say anything, this is all your doing. It was all uncalled for and nothing to do with the present situation and don't know why he done that., well I do, he's always done it. I didn't provoke him or anything or pick up on his choice of words towards me. I pulled away from his grip and then he went after the two girls and started calling them names...slags, sluts, whores and some words I couldn't hear properly. The two girls were just sitting on their own smoking and talking outside the club house. Bert caught up with the girls before me as I'm a slow walker due to health.
Zoe went into one of her anxiety states and wanted to know what she had done wrong (she hadn't done anything wrong) Jade held her own against Bert with his vicious words and defended her self with her own words which I don't blame her for.
Zoe walked off in a terrible state and Jade walked the other way. I called Zoe to come back and had to shout at her to calm her down 
Bert had gone after Jade. Steven (G/son) had been trying to stop Bert by trying his best to hold Bert back. 
Zoe and myself followed Bert, Steven and Jade. 
Zoe and myself caught up with Steven and Jade and Bert was being really nasty towards Jade, he called her a slut, slag and a whore and the next thing I saw was Bert throwing a punch at Jades face. Jade ducked and Steven held him back and tried to calm him down. At that point I had no choice but to call the police and told them what was happening ect...and I wanted them here and now! 
Again Zoe had run off in a right anxiety state. Bert and Steven started to walk away. I told Jade to go and look for Zoe which she did. I made my way back to the caravan and got in just before Bert and Steven arrived. A little bit later the police arrived and Bert said those fucking slags have called the police. I turned my head and faced him and said, they didn't call the police, I did and his face dropped. He didn't expect that. 
The police spoke to Bert and me seperately. I said, I wanted Bert took out of the caravan. I didn't get him arrested. I didn't know what to do as I've never done this type of thing myself before. Bert was taken to an apartment on site and Steven went with him, but they didn't stay the night. Bert drove home absolutely drunk.  And, he took half of the holiday money with him. I had taken £500 of my own money with me which I spent and Bert took £1,000 we had put between us for the holiday and I had to get more money from my acc while I was at Vauxhall holiday park which was another £250.
Jade had phoned Alan (her dad, my son) and told him. I had to phone Sheila Zoe's mum (my daughter) and told her and Sheila drove here during the night and arrived around 4:am from Dagenham and had to leave around mid-day as she had an appointment for her car to be repaired.
Sheila phoned Wednesday morning to say Bert had been round to her house threatening to kill her and Zoe and he was coming back to the caravan site. 
Bert had clearly frightened Sheila so she called the police and made a statement against him and they went round my house to pick him up and took him to the police station where they kept him over night.

I got panicky when Sheila told me Bert was coming back to Gt.Yarmouth and told Sheila to send Alan that day to the caravan, which she did. 
After the phone call I went round to reception and I told them what was happening and they put security in place for me while on site. 
Still Wednesday 23/08/2017:
I wasn't going to let Bert ruin our bit of holiday, so the two girls and  I went into Hemsby for a hour and Alan met up with us there around 3:pm...ish! I felt safe with Alan there with us because I know he would be able to stand up to Bert if needed.

We came home Thursday 24/08/2017. We got as far as The Moby Dick pub on The Eastern Avenue and I got a phone call from Bert. I had been ignoring his calls all week. 
Alan took the phone off me and spoke to him. We got home, Alan parked around the corner, he told me to stay in the car while he and the two girls went to meet Sheila at the house. Bert had just got back from the police station, they kept him in over night. The door was locked and Alan had to kick the door in. The police came once again, they took my door key from him. Bert said its his house and he wanted everyone out of it. Alan came and got me once Bert had left and the police spoke to me. I told them I was the tenant, not Bert.

A week before the holiday Bert threatened to kill me, says things to belittle me and said he could never be happy here at this house. I said, you don't have to come here do you. I've even told him several times over the years that I don't want him at my house and told him I hate him. I've told him many times I wanted my street door key back and he says its his house not mine. I'm the tenant of my house and he still says its his house.
He still thinks I'm still his wife (not in a sexual way) 

I dreaded it when Bert arrives each morning at 7:am. He's always in a foul mood and puts me down all the time. He complains about everything. And, I was glad when it was time for Bert to leave the house. Sometimes he stayed later in the evenings because his wife Mary had gone out or had family around on occasions.

My daily life is like this:
I get up at 6:am and unlock the door. Bert comes in around 7:am, he has breakfast and tea, then goes to lay on my bed and I have to keep quite. He gets up around 10:am and I have to make more breakfast more tea for him and listen to his moans and groans everyday. I cook dinner, wash up and make several cups of tea throughout the day for Bert and if the tea isn't to what he wants I have to make more, sometime 3 or 4 more cups until its right. In the afternoon Bert watched the horse-racing and gambles on my online W/Hill acc. He used my money from my bank acc, he also gave me the money back in my hand for what he used and always said I keep taking his money. I didn't take any money off him, only what he used on W/Hill which is my money. I paid for all the food, rent, gas and electric andVirginmedia. 
In the afternoon I stayed in my room as I don't like being in the same room as him and if I was a sleep he would come and wake me as he wanted to lay down and I had to wake him around 5:pm so he could go home to his wife. And when he had gone sometimes I felt anxious, angry and it took a long time for me to feel at ease.
I feel I have been used for Bert to verbally abuse, manipulate, patronize and intimidate over the years. 

1 comment:

Kath said...

Aww this is terrible Sandra,I don't know how you put up with it all.Lets hope now the family are back together they will help you more and keep him away.I don't understand him wanting to come when he has a wife ??? I wouldn't let him in at all I would call the police every time . Ok love take care (((Hugs))) . I have sent you a PM on Facebook before this message xxx

Photos of Mathieu Olin