My Feelings Of Lost, Lonely, And Peace Of Mind

I've got this feeling of being lost and lonely I suppose and need peace of mind. Everything never falls into place for me or I hold back, I feel lost in life and don't know which way to turn, I know I've got friends but I can't explain to anyone how I feel or why I feel the way I do, I even find it hard to put into words. I know I've explained a bit above, but not how I actually feel or why, how do I put details into words. 🤔

Feeling lost, it feels like there's no tomorrow, fear maybe of not knowing what lies ahead for me, everything is all over the place in my head. 

Feeling lonely like no one wants to know me which I know that's not true because my friend Jack wants to know me. Jack is good to me, he's taken me out for meals, to clubs, cinema and to seaside. Jack and me are friends no more than that.

 I go out a lot with my friend Shel and we have a laugh and joke with each other. So what's missing? I've been out on my own to clubs and sat with people I know, I've been out for meals on my own, I've been to the cinema on my own, I go to church every Sunday which give me peace of mind. 

No one can really tell about how other people think or feel. Some people I can read them and think I know they're going through something or other, others I can't read at all.

I'm thinking, we have to help ourselves out of these lost and lonely feelings, and some people need help to see they're way back. 

My money situation isn't helping me because of lack of it, my depts are always paid on time. Its not that I ask for a lot in life. So why do I feel like I do? Or maybe I've hit the nail on the head, lack of money thats making me feel lost 🤔 I'm one of those people who would rather go without than ask for help whether it's money or anything else. I won't even ask anyone for a drop of milk for a cup of tea. 

I'm thinking am I lonely because I live on my own and need a man in my life for me to care for and he to care for me, yes that would be nice but maybe I'm too old for all that. I do think along those lines sometimes, maybe I shouldn't think aye 🤷‍♀️ but saying that, there is someone in mind who I'm not at liberty to talk about.

I suppose many people think about these things at some time. 

I'm probably writing this because I'm pissed off. These stupid thoughts and feelings will soon pass. Tomorrow's a new day. 

Sandra