Tiredness and Bad Feelings

I've been feeling rough the last few days. Diet and exercise seems to have gone haywire too. 
I am feeling so irriable and on edge. I keep twitching all the time and can't seem to keep still when sitting down especially when ? is around. I wring my hands and and wriggle my feet all the time and twitch and when standing I seem to shift from foot to foot all the time, more or less like swaying. I am so uptight. I can't keep still. I just want to go to sleep because I feel so tired. I rest on my bed in the afternoons, sometimes I have a nap and still sleep of a night too. I'm having bad feelings all the time lately.

 ? has got heart failure and won't go to the hospital. His legs are swollen and he has come out in a bad rash and, his coughing and breathlessness has worsened even more. 
He had some tests done on his heart last week, his heart is missing 3 beats in 10 and is waiting for the results.He has got an appointment in a couple of weeks to see his GP that is if he don't send for ? before hand.
When I mention anything to him about getting help, he just jumps down my throat and turns everything around on to me, as if its all my fault. I think I should just shut up and say nothing and keep myself to myself.
I feel like I'm nothing, like I'm a bit of dirt on his shoe, invisable or just someone to shout at and be there for his beck and call. What I am thinking to myself is I want to be out of all this anger that is aimed at me. I hate every bit of it, I hate myself.  
? says, its his illness that makes him say bad things. So, why does he say bad things and being pig headed toward me and not to G/son, why only me? He must really hate me to do so or he is just taking liberties knowing he can get away with it.
I know ? is in trouble. I only wish he wouldn't keep having a dig at me all the time.