Trouble Signing Into My Bloggs Again. Feeling So Bitter!

I've had terrible trouble getting into my blogs again lately. 
I've had to re-install Firefox to get into my blogs also change my password once again to do so. I hope I don't have to go through all that rigmarole again next time I go to log-in.

I've been reading books and watching TV a lot lately and watching DVD's, of course got a few light chores done too inbetween. 
I tried to do heavier bits of work that I thought I could do, but found I just couldn't manage them, so just left them. I will have to pay someone to do the work for me I think!

My son has been coming round here and there lately. There don't seem to be any trouble form him?! but, saying that, I might be wrong, only time will tell.

I have been having bad feelings lately of anxiety and feeling so distressed over what?! I just don't know! I just feel so angry with evil thoughts. I wish I could get rid of these awful feelings.
I am better with my own company but, when anyone is around I feel so put out especially when ? and G/son are around me as they seem to torment me but, I just can't seem to see their funny ways because, that's what it is they messing/joking about with me. except for ? he does go over the top with his outburst. He says awful things to me at times that start me off and I have out bursts of my own that makes me feel so evil at times and I find myself talking evil to myself under my breath and sometimes out loud so ? can hear me and people around me can hear my hateful evil wicked things that I say, where normally I would never say anything unless put out of course, then I don't care who hears me whether I'm out or in-doors! I would show people up and most of all show myself up where I don't seem to care about anything or anyone. 
God what the hell is wrong with me, I hate being like this!
I've never been this bad before although I have had feelings like this before, but  not as bad as I  am lately and I have been able to control these feelings. I feel so bitter about everything and everyone. My tongue is like venomous at times...it's awful.
I just want to be left alone without anyone telling me or forcing me to say or do things that I don't want to or find hard to do. 
I feel that I need help in some way because I just can't manage cleaning my house although I only do light work. I feel so frustrated when I cook for myself or washing, I don't iron because I can't manage the iron, it's too heavy for me to manage. 

I can feel my blood pressure is up at times too. I think I will have to go and see my GP about this. But, will I come across as a crazy person, I hope not. Also, I hurt a lot, bones upper spine neck, shoulders and arms and lower spine and find it hard to put one foot in front of the other most of the time but, I try all the time to do things. I feel like crying a lot of the time but instead of doing that, I get this awful feeling of hatefulness come over me towards anyone and everyone who is near me. My words seem come out abruptly too. Why do I feel so bitter and evil!??? I just can't stand it any more.

I better leave this here I think, before I write any more and make myself sound more crazier than it sounds.