Why is it we always seem too hurt the one's we love dearly? And a mother and daughter are at loggerheads over what? All because the mother worries about the daughter and find it hard to let go and let the daughter make her own mistakes in life so she can learn from them herself. And the mother can be over protective and ends up pushing her daughter away instead of pulling her closer.
And, the daughter thinks she knows better.
I feel like piggy in the middle. I love my daughter Sheila and granddaughter Zoe the same and I'm worried about both of them.
My Daughter Sheila:
She is in a bad place and has been for sometime now, her mind is set on destruction (herself) and has tried this week to hang herself, and not so long ago, I think it was April she tried to over dose with medications and drink, but failed and both times taken to hospital. I am so worried that she will succeed one day.
I feel numb and worried, wretched inside (can't think of better words to use here) too know that sheila has tried to do this to herself.
Sheila loves Zoe so much that she tries to protect her in her own way, which is so overpowering at times, but Zoe sees it as trying to control her life for her. Zoe is rejecting Sheila. Now they're not talking at all.
Sheila had been speaking to Zoe on the phone Sunday evening, all seemed ok, I could here Zoe answering ok and later ok and so on...then Zoe's voice changed and she kept saying 'what ever' and all hell let loose. Zoe slammed the phone down and went up in the air crying. Her mum had been telling her what to do with attitude.
Zoe had been good all day and singing, we all had a good day, Zoe was in a happy mood. I only asked Zoe once to clean her room and she did, she done her washing and hung it out and helped with a couple of other bits that needed doing. Zoe had no intention of going out at all.
Sheila came round to me Sunday late evening about 10:30pm. Zoe got dressed and went round her friends house before Sheila arrived, Zoe didn't know Sheila was coming round.
I was actually in bed watching TV and talking to Sheila's husband John on the phone, he hadn't heard Sheila go out. I heard my front door shut and thought it was Zoe come back, then my bedroom door opened and in came Sheila.
When Sheila got here she was in a bad state, she was drunk, and crying and gave me a long hard cuddle. We chatted for sometime, Steven made us both a cuppa and we chatted some more for over an hour. She couldn't tell me what was wrong. The start of all this was when Zoe self harmed herself last year. I asked, what has triggered all this off, she said, she didn't know. I asked, is it John? she said, no he has been great and is worried that he will leave her because she has tried suicide twice and he's got a lot to put up with her and what with Zoe too. I took the car keys off Sheila and She got a cab home.
My Granddaughter Zoe:
All she wants to do is live her own life and learn from her own mistakes and she has made quite a few mistakes in her short life already. She is 18 years old and says she is free to do what she wants now she is 18.
Zoe tells me where she is going and what time she will be home or if she is staying at friends, but sometimes I do believe she is lying to me. I asked her to tell me where she is for safety reasons only. I don't tell her what to do or where she can or can't go. I only want her to be safe and be sensible about certain things and am worried in-case she isn't conducting her life in a proper manner and hope she don't get a bad name or something.Well, these things go through my mind same as any parent/grandparent I suppose.
I remember when I was 18 and thought I knew everything and really did not!? I was still a stupid kid that still needed advice from elders to put me right, although I never did do anything wrong and always have conducted my life in a proper way.
Today, I discovered something concerning Zoe and I showed ? (hubby) because I don't hide things from him and he's very upset over Zoe as I am too.
I haven't told Sheila because it would set her off again and I won't reveal it here anyway.
I don't know how Sheila is holding up. She went back to work yesterday to keep herself busy because if she stayed at home she would be sitting around thinking all sorts. Sheila has got an appointment with a psychotherapist next week.
Its a shame because when sheila and Zoe are ok they get on really well together. I do believe its got a lot to do with Sheila's drinking. Of course Sheila say no it isn't.
Zoe stayed out last night at her friends, so she told me, but hasn't returned home today as yet, she should be home around 10:30pm tonight. She hasn't contacted me at all today. Zoe messaged me from her friends to borrow some money. I told her I haven't got any and she asked me to ask ? and he said no too. Anyway, she came back here and asked ? herself for some money, he told me to give her £10 and she left, she has since blocked me from messenger.
Sheila takes after her dad ? they are both manipulative and controlling
Sarah!
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