Feeling Down...

Its a beautiful morning here today as it has been for a few days now. How am I feeling today!?? Well, I'm not sure. I feel ok health-wise at the moment but, somehow feel a bit low because I've tried to get in contact with certain family members by phone and internet but, seem to be rejected and I don't know why!? Have I done or said something wrong? No, I haven't. So, why the brush off?  I've returned some clothing I had ordered and re-ordered more. I'm not feeling comfortable in any of the clothes I've tried on lately mainly because of my size I should think and this has knocked my morale and is making me look at myself once again. Why the hell did I let myself get so big I don't know. It makes me feel like I hate myself because I've let everything get out of control...stupid, stupid me!!